My brief (and ridiculous) hysterics

Why do you keep asking me to help with your sandcastle making when you know how I feel about it?


Yes, I have moved passed everything that happened last year...befriending your ex helped out with that a lot.

But I told you...it's just not my thing.



I'll do it...and sometimes I'll enjoy it...when I'm in the mood.



But not finals week when I have so much to worry about and get done. Yes, today is my down day but I'm using that to make sure everything else is ready for the rest of the week and to catch up on sleep...9 hours in the past three days is not healthy...



And I find it ironic how your sandcastle making always seems to coincide with the week I'm PMSing...so I'm already on a hormonal, emotional roller coaster as it is. Then you ask me to do something, which means I could spend much wanted time with you...doing something I really don't care to do.


I keep trying to come up with reasons why I don't want to do sandcastles...

I don't want to get all sandy and messy right before I go to work (which is valid and very true)

I don't want to do something you used to do with her (not valid anymore...so not a good reason because I really don't care)

I have other things I should be doing (not completely true today...though I should be studying for my LSD1 final tomorrow)


...I'm sure I could up with more but they're just stupid. They all are. I just don't want to build sandcastles. I dunno why. I just don't.



And that really bothers me.


You enjoy it so much. I want to enjoy it too. I want it to be something we can enjoy doing together (and one time we did, when we made the pod racing arena).


But any time you ask me to help, my gut reaction is to say no and run away, crying.


And I have no idea why.



Take me away now, while I'm still sane enough to hold still while the strait jacket is put on because I must be crazy.


What normal person cries at the thought of building a sand castle?


Bleck...


I am a mess. How do you put up with me?



Add this hysterical weirdness on top of everything else going on and it's amazing I'm out of bed, dressed, and talking coherently...


I'm going to eat and then take a nap...hopefully that will help me keep my insanity under wraps long enough to help you with the dang sand castle and then go to work...then promptly collapsing afterwards...