My heart hurts...

I finally told him how I've been feeling about our relationship. Finally.


Well, I sent it to him in a message on Facebook because he wanted to go to bed and wouldn't stay up to wait to talk face-to-face.

But whatever.

It's done.


And I'm terrified. I'm terrified he'll decide it's not worth it, that I'm just a naggy, pathetic mess who isn't worth it.

And that thought breaks my heart.


So I'm scared.

I've been crying now for almost two hours straight. My roommate is more than a little concerned but she also knows how this whole thing has been effecting me.

Abba...give me strength to hit the send button. Give me hope that he won't leave and that we'll fix this. Give me peace that everything will work out.



Well...I hit sent. That was a long message...I wrote it out in Microsoft Word first...roughly 1500 words...I just hope he understands.

I don't want to lose him. I can't go through that again. So I will anything to fix whatever is poisoning our relationship...whether it be him, me or a combination. I will fix it.



Abba...you know how much he means to me...please...don't take him from me...