Seeing him at chapel this morning helped....
Though I cried throughout the entire thing...between the songs they sang and Marshall's speaking...
Wow, Abba...just hit with Your love like that every day...please....it's amazing...
That was exactly what I needed...and You knew that...I cannot thank You enough....
Hearing him say he didn't want to lose me again meant the world to me...maybe that's what I was afraid of...maybe that's what's been bothering me. The last time we had a fight he said there are times when he doesn't know why he's dating me anymore. And I think that just....hurt....a lot more than I thought at first...because yeah...it hurt like hell to hear him say that in the first place...but I think the wound just festered instead of healing....but when he told me this morning that he didn't want to lose me again and wouldn't leave me....I think hearing that....just healed that wound. Sure, we still have to get used to being up here and making opportunities to see each other....but I think I'm doing better....
I just love him so gosh darn much *grins stupidly*
yes, I did just say that....get over it....it's my blog and I can say what I want...
And I just saw a preview for Lion King in 3D....totally saving up to go see that in the I-Max theater up here...it may cost me a small fortune...but totally worth it!
Ach...I am so tired!!!! My roommate and I decided to go for a walk on the trail that runs by the school....little did we know what we were getting ourselves into....it was such a beautiful day so we just walked and walked...before we knew it, we'd walked almost four miles....so we decided to turn around....
On the way back, we came around the corner and there was a fawn standing in the middle of the path....I started taking pictures with my phone but they're not very good....she let us get pretty close....and we followed her quite a distance as well....then some dogs barked at her and scared her off....but still...it was so cool....
Anyways....walking back was more of an adventure than walking away....sounds like a life lesson right there...hmm....
But now...after we trudged roughly 7 miles back to our dorm...my roommate and I collapsed....she's actually passed out on our futon right now....I, on the other hand, had the munchies....so I had to find something to eat....then decided to write this....but now, I think I'll follow her example...I don't have anything to do til 6ish...plenty of time for a nap....
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Pain, without love. Pain, can't get enough. Pain, I like it rough cuz I'd rather feel pain then nothing at all....
That song lyric lies....
I'm tired of feeling pain....
Emotional, physical....any of it.....I'm tired of it...
......plugging into my headphones was not a smart idea....thank you, Taylor Swift, for ruining my pathetic attempt to start the morning off happy.....thank you for awakening the memories.....
Though it's not really Taylor's fault.....everything about this campus awakens some sort of a memory.....I didn't realize that was going to happen when I got up here....I was probably too excited to be getting out of that house finally and being able to breathe again....add that I'd be living with my best friend and my boyfriend would be right across the way? Perfection...
But not really....
I still love the school itself, even though the homework is already killing me, and I absolutely love how the campus feels like home...the freedom is unbelievable....
But I still have almost no privacy...which for the most part, I am okay with. The girls on my hall are great....we're all like long lost sisters. But when I've had a really bad headache all day and I feel sick and all I want to do is lay down on my bed and crash...but I couldn't.....because there were girls and papers strewn all over my bed...a couple girls hanging with my roommate, talking and working on homework. Well, seeing as how they were there first and they were working on stuff for school, I didn't want to be a jerk and tell them to get out. So I grabbed my book, my pillow, my mp3 player and a blanket and headed outside to find a good spot to chill. Later, I went back for my sketch book and Sharpies. They weren't there anymore. But I didn't feel like moving back inside...it was too pretty outside. Plus, out there I could be alone...sure, I had a couple drop by to say hi and ask what I was doing...but for the most part, I was left to myself. It was glorious.
I ended up falling asleep at some point...next time thing I knew, I was checking my phone and an hour had passed...my face had an imprint on it from laying on my book....
I put my things away and glanced out the window to see him building a sandcastle....the adult side of my brain looked at him and thought he was being ridiculous and obsessive....but I went out to see him...I sat and watched him....made faces of my own....looked up in time to see her walk by....
That was the end of my sand playing,.....seeing her brought back all the memories of last fall when all he seemed to talk about was making sandcastles with a group of friends...and how one night, it was so cold and she got him this goofy looking sweater to wear and took a picture and sent it to me. I wondered at the time if that's what she was thinking of...if she was seeing him build another sandcastle and remembering that one....after seeing her, that's what i was thinking of....I even had to make the excuse of going to the bathroom so he wouldn't see me start crying....thinking about last fall hurts....because that's when he was drifting away and I didn't even know why because he wouldn't ever tell me....just thinking about it is making me cry again....and shake....i'm making so many typos and having to retype.....have to leave for class soon....and I don't want to go....
All I can think about is him and how it feels like we're drifting apart again.....and I don't even know why.....or how to fix things.....I'm working on my temper and trying so hard not to take my stress out on him....all I really want to do is spend time with him....alone....
I just want to go for walks, or eat a meal together, or run to the store....just something that's me and him....
It doesn't have to be something big....just something...
He says we won't get to see each other every day....but I say why not? That's all we talked about all summer it seemed....how I'd be free and he'd be home and we could see each other every day, whenever we wanted. Yes, I know we each have our own schedules. His is just about to get busier because of the play, but that just means it takes more a little more effort and planning to make the time for each other....
I want to do that....
I honestly don't know what he wants....
And that's what scares me....
I'm usually so good at reading him....but not lately.....
Curse this shaking....stupid hands....type what I want you to....
And yes, I know he reads this blog and is probably going to confront me with all this...but in all honesty, it's nothing I haven't tried to tell him before....well, except the thing about her....but he doesn't like it when I bring her up....so I try not to....when I do, it just slips out....like yesterday when I mentioned that her leg does that bouncy thing that mine does....we found that out in choir yesterday....well...the girl sitting between us did hehe....I'm sorry for that, by the way....it's just sometimes it amazes me how alike she and I can be....it's kinda scary....but it just makes me even more curious about her....and since I can't talk to her....well, he's the only other one who knows her.....
So, I'm stuck....
Ach.....this is NOT how I wanted to start my morning....it was already bad enough, with that dream....
I woke up crying for the first time since February.....
But when you've been put in the role of key to the resistance (think Katniss) and while they're trying to sneak you out to a safe place, your best friend is shot to pieces right before your eyes...your mentor is captured and tortured in front of you to try to get information from you....and when you're finally rescued, it's by the person who turned you in in the first place who had to fly a plane into the building to cause a big enough distraction to steal you away.....and as you jump out of the building, a bullet finds it's way to your vertabrae, and then...you wake up.....gasping, crying, sitting up and feeling for the hole that should be in the middle of your chest....
Even a thirty mintue shower has not been enough to wash away the images from my mind....it all just felt so real....it wasn't like I was living a movie or a book....I was actually living....it was the reality....I woke up feeling remorse for losing my best friend and mentor....and mixed feelings for the man who saved me....my back hurts right on the spine between my shoulder blades as if I'd been hit there....
In that dream, I had lost everything that I held dear...my friend, my mentor, my family had been killed to get to me as well....even I'd been shot....
But why did I dream that?
I didn't watch any sort of action movie before bed...I watched Ella Enchanted with him and his roommate (hehe that was fun).....and I was reading a romance before I went to bed....the boy had finally confessed his love for the girl....
....so where did that dream come from??????
Ach....confusing....
And now....I must end this....or I'll be late to class.....
I'm tired of feeling pain....
Emotional, physical....any of it.....I'm tired of it...
......plugging into my headphones was not a smart idea....thank you, Taylor Swift, for ruining my pathetic attempt to start the morning off happy.....thank you for awakening the memories.....
Though it's not really Taylor's fault.....everything about this campus awakens some sort of a memory.....I didn't realize that was going to happen when I got up here....I was probably too excited to be getting out of that house finally and being able to breathe again....add that I'd be living with my best friend and my boyfriend would be right across the way? Perfection...
But not really....
I still love the school itself, even though the homework is already killing me, and I absolutely love how the campus feels like home...the freedom is unbelievable....
But I still have almost no privacy...which for the most part, I am okay with. The girls on my hall are great....we're all like long lost sisters. But when I've had a really bad headache all day and I feel sick and all I want to do is lay down on my bed and crash...but I couldn't.....because there were girls and papers strewn all over my bed...a couple girls hanging with my roommate, talking and working on homework. Well, seeing as how they were there first and they were working on stuff for school, I didn't want to be a jerk and tell them to get out. So I grabbed my book, my pillow, my mp3 player and a blanket and headed outside to find a good spot to chill. Later, I went back for my sketch book and Sharpies. They weren't there anymore. But I didn't feel like moving back inside...it was too pretty outside. Plus, out there I could be alone...sure, I had a couple drop by to say hi and ask what I was doing...but for the most part, I was left to myself. It was glorious.
I ended up falling asleep at some point...next time thing I knew, I was checking my phone and an hour had passed...my face had an imprint on it from laying on my book....
I put my things away and glanced out the window to see him building a sandcastle....the adult side of my brain looked at him and thought he was being ridiculous and obsessive....but I went out to see him...I sat and watched him....made faces of my own....looked up in time to see her walk by....
That was the end of my sand playing,.....seeing her brought back all the memories of last fall when all he seemed to talk about was making sandcastles with a group of friends...and how one night, it was so cold and she got him this goofy looking sweater to wear and took a picture and sent it to me. I wondered at the time if that's what she was thinking of...if she was seeing him build another sandcastle and remembering that one....after seeing her, that's what i was thinking of....I even had to make the excuse of going to the bathroom so he wouldn't see me start crying....thinking about last fall hurts....because that's when he was drifting away and I didn't even know why because he wouldn't ever tell me....just thinking about it is making me cry again....and shake....i'm making so many typos and having to retype.....have to leave for class soon....and I don't want to go....
All I can think about is him and how it feels like we're drifting apart again.....and I don't even know why.....or how to fix things.....I'm working on my temper and trying so hard not to take my stress out on him....all I really want to do is spend time with him....alone....
I just want to go for walks, or eat a meal together, or run to the store....just something that's me and him....
It doesn't have to be something big....just something...
He says we won't get to see each other every day....but I say why not? That's all we talked about all summer it seemed....how I'd be free and he'd be home and we could see each other every day, whenever we wanted. Yes, I know we each have our own schedules. His is just about to get busier because of the play, but that just means it takes more a little more effort and planning to make the time for each other....
I want to do that....
I honestly don't know what he wants....
And that's what scares me....
I'm usually so good at reading him....but not lately.....
Curse this shaking....stupid hands....type what I want you to....
And yes, I know he reads this blog and is probably going to confront me with all this...but in all honesty, it's nothing I haven't tried to tell him before....well, except the thing about her....but he doesn't like it when I bring her up....so I try not to....when I do, it just slips out....like yesterday when I mentioned that her leg does that bouncy thing that mine does....we found that out in choir yesterday....well...the girl sitting between us did hehe....I'm sorry for that, by the way....it's just sometimes it amazes me how alike she and I can be....it's kinda scary....but it just makes me even more curious about her....and since I can't talk to her....well, he's the only other one who knows her.....
So, I'm stuck....
Ach.....this is NOT how I wanted to start my morning....it was already bad enough, with that dream....
I woke up crying for the first time since February.....
But when you've been put in the role of key to the resistance (think Katniss) and while they're trying to sneak you out to a safe place, your best friend is shot to pieces right before your eyes...your mentor is captured and tortured in front of you to try to get information from you....and when you're finally rescued, it's by the person who turned you in in the first place who had to fly a plane into the building to cause a big enough distraction to steal you away.....and as you jump out of the building, a bullet finds it's way to your vertabrae, and then...you wake up.....gasping, crying, sitting up and feeling for the hole that should be in the middle of your chest....
Even a thirty mintue shower has not been enough to wash away the images from my mind....it all just felt so real....it wasn't like I was living a movie or a book....I was actually living....it was the reality....I woke up feeling remorse for losing my best friend and mentor....and mixed feelings for the man who saved me....my back hurts right on the spine between my shoulder blades as if I'd been hit there....
In that dream, I had lost everything that I held dear...my friend, my mentor, my family had been killed to get to me as well....even I'd been shot....
But why did I dream that?
I didn't watch any sort of action movie before bed...I watched Ella Enchanted with him and his roommate (hehe that was fun).....and I was reading a romance before I went to bed....the boy had finally confessed his love for the girl....
....so where did that dream come from??????
Ach....confusing....
And now....I must end this....or I'll be late to class.....
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Here we go again....one more round....
It's amazing how quickly one's happiness can disappear...
One moment, I'm flying high on ecstacy for spending some actual quality time with him...walking on Cloud 9, floating on air and all the other overly used romantic cliches...
The next, I'm shoved back down to reality...to my past that keeps haunting me like a starving ghost who lives off my pain.
Curse you, Facebook, for making me relive my memories...
And thank you, ex best friend, for commenting on my picture and saying "those days are in the past and long gone..."
Your immaturity reached its peak only a couple weeks ago...
That's not that long....
Just saying....
By the way, I love how you managed to not be at church the one day I was back...yeah, I know you went to late church ( my mom told me...I'm not a stalker) but still...wow....cool story, bro...
Oh...and thanks for de-friending me on Facebook...now I don't have to read about your drama every time I check my newsfeed...I can just deal with my own...
And I'm so glad you complained about never getting to hang out with me...then brought your own little posse to MY goodbye party...yeah...that totally helped....by the way....NO YOU DID NOT ASK ABOUT HER!!!!!!!! I CHECKED THE MESSAGES BEFORE I DELETED THEM!!!!!!!!! SO YOU STARTED ALL THAT CRAP FOR NO REASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*sighs*
there....
Now, I'm done....
Moving on....
I also really love how I find the perfect present for my gingerbestfriend...and tell him I got him something...but then I hear nothing but "What is it?" No "Aww thanks" or "Why?"....just a "What is it?" And then when I won't tell him, he won't reply....and then when I finally cave and tell him what it is because I realized I won't see him for a month, he replies instantly.....cool story, bro....miss you too....
Ach.........
Why'd this have to run such a good time? I shouldn't let it ruin such a good time. But I can't seem to help it. And now my stomach feels...yucky....I can't think of a better word....it's just....feels like it's rolling....like I'm going to throw up but there's nothing in there to regurgitate....bleck.....
Cue heating pad....
Ach....I better not be getting sick....I have to give a speech at 9 o'clock tomorrow morning.....ach....
.................................................
Wait.................................
Nope, the heating pad is actually helping....and so is the peppermint....hooray for home remedies......
Have you ever just wanted to type something? To tell a story, whether it be truth or ficition, and just see where it goes? I have....I do right now....it's a sudden urge, a passion that just takes hold of my imagination and runs with it...
But sadly, my energy is all gone......that high I was flying on has disappeared.....and now I'm just sinking....slowly but surely....sinking down.....down.....down......
Ach....I'm going to bed....that force we learned about today in Concepts of Physical Science is acting upon my eyelids again......goodnight all
One moment, I'm flying high on ecstacy for spending some actual quality time with him...walking on Cloud 9, floating on air and all the other overly used romantic cliches...
The next, I'm shoved back down to reality...to my past that keeps haunting me like a starving ghost who lives off my pain.
Curse you, Facebook, for making me relive my memories...
And thank you, ex best friend, for commenting on my picture and saying "those days are in the past and long gone..."
Your immaturity reached its peak only a couple weeks ago...
That's not that long....
Just saying....
By the way, I love how you managed to not be at church the one day I was back...yeah, I know you went to late church ( my mom told me...I'm not a stalker) but still...wow....cool story, bro...
Oh...and thanks for de-friending me on Facebook...now I don't have to read about your drama every time I check my newsfeed...I can just deal with my own...
And I'm so glad you complained about never getting to hang out with me...then brought your own little posse to MY goodbye party...yeah...that totally helped....by the way....NO YOU DID NOT ASK ABOUT HER!!!!!!!! I CHECKED THE MESSAGES BEFORE I DELETED THEM!!!!!!!!! SO YOU STARTED ALL THAT CRAP FOR NO REASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*sighs*
there....
Now, I'm done....
Moving on....
I also really love how I find the perfect present for my gingerbestfriend...and tell him I got him something...but then I hear nothing but "What is it?" No "Aww thanks" or "Why?"....just a "What is it?" And then when I won't tell him, he won't reply....and then when I finally cave and tell him what it is because I realized I won't see him for a month, he replies instantly.....cool story, bro....miss you too....
Ach.........
Why'd this have to run such a good time? I shouldn't let it ruin such a good time. But I can't seem to help it. And now my stomach feels...yucky....I can't think of a better word....it's just....feels like it's rolling....like I'm going to throw up but there's nothing in there to regurgitate....bleck.....
Cue heating pad....
Ach....I better not be getting sick....I have to give a speech at 9 o'clock tomorrow morning.....ach....
.................................................
Wait.................................
Nope, the heating pad is actually helping....and so is the peppermint....hooray for home remedies......
Have you ever just wanted to type something? To tell a story, whether it be truth or ficition, and just see where it goes? I have....I do right now....it's a sudden urge, a passion that just takes hold of my imagination and runs with it...
But sadly, my energy is all gone......that high I was flying on has disappeared.....and now I'm just sinking....slowly but surely....sinking down.....down.....down......
Ach....I'm going to bed....that force we learned about today in Concepts of Physical Science is acting upon my eyelids again......goodnight all
Too beautiful of a day to stay inside...too much to do to be outside...
Abba, You have outdone yourself today...it's deliciously gorgeous outside...
I did get to enjoy while I was walking to class...
There's just something about the feel of dewy grass brushing against mybare feet that makes my insides feel all warm and fuzzy...the journey across campus to my 8 o'clock class was perfect...
I guess I did get to enjoy the weather a little today since my roommate and I played tennis...
.......that was crazy hehe.......what were we thinking? Hehe....insanity....that's what that was....but so worth it. That made what happened after doable...
Ugh...money...I hate the stupid thing. But some of it's been taken care of....by my personal guardian angel....Abba, You have blessed me so....
Just being back on campus has been wonderful...I did not realize how much I truly missed all the girls til I got back and saw them all...and I've had to spend most of my time doing homework...
Thanks, profs....for loading me up the first week....you are too kind...
On a side note: I have my speech tomorrow....goody....not looking forward to that....but at least I'll have my cheat sheet....plus it's about me....so I can't really mess it up....
Ach...speech....
On another side note: I'm really looking forward to choir tomorrow now....I want to see if things will be different now that she has confronted my existence....hmm....this whole situation is completely tv show-like....it's so overly dramatic....ach....ridiculous....but whatever....I hope we're making progress....
And I just saw we got our shower curtains back....hooray! That means I can shower!!!!!
But first, I have a trip to Kohl's and Dick's Sporting Goods with my girls and then working on that speech for the rest of the night....unless he's free for a walk tonight....Mhm....I love walking with him....just holding his hand and talking about nothing with him....Mhm....perfection....
But...first, shopping....then working on homework....must. concentrate.
I did get to enjoy while I was walking to class...
There's just something about the feel of dewy grass brushing against mybare feet that makes my insides feel all warm and fuzzy...the journey across campus to my 8 o'clock class was perfect...
I guess I did get to enjoy the weather a little today since my roommate and I played tennis...
.......that was crazy hehe.......what were we thinking? Hehe....insanity....that's what that was....but so worth it. That made what happened after doable...
Ugh...money...I hate the stupid thing. But some of it's been taken care of....by my personal guardian angel....Abba, You have blessed me so....
Just being back on campus has been wonderful...I did not realize how much I truly missed all the girls til I got back and saw them all...and I've had to spend most of my time doing homework...
Thanks, profs....for loading me up the first week....you are too kind...
On a side note: I have my speech tomorrow....goody....not looking forward to that....but at least I'll have my cheat sheet....plus it's about me....so I can't really mess it up....
Ach...speech....
On another side note: I'm really looking forward to choir tomorrow now....I want to see if things will be different now that she has confronted my existence....hmm....this whole situation is completely tv show-like....it's so overly dramatic....ach....ridiculous....but whatever....I hope we're making progress....
And I just saw we got our shower curtains back....hooray! That means I can shower!!!!!
But first, I have a trip to Kohl's and Dick's Sporting Goods with my girls and then working on that speech for the rest of the night....unless he's free for a walk tonight....Mhm....I love walking with him....just holding his hand and talking about nothing with him....Mhm....perfection....
But...first, shopping....then working on homework....must. concentrate.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Feels like Buzz Lightyear...."Strange things are happening to me...ain't no doubt about it...."
I find it interesting that two people who have such a history yet haven't ever talked to each other can finally have a conversation and the conversation itself was meaningless but the fact that the two people even had the conversation in the first place is so important.
Well...sort of...
It's important to at least at one of the people...
Meaning put aside...that was interesting...
Unexpected...
But interesting...
I honestly expected her to run...switch places quickly with someone else to put that "safe" space between us...
Or if she stayed, I expected her to ignore me, pretend I was invisible...
But no...
She took that step...made a comment...and I responded...just to see what she'd do...
She answered...in a joking manner even...
..........I wonder what ran through her head at that moment.....what emotion bubbled up inside her.....she's a better actress than I though...
I don't mean that to sound harsh.......
I just.........with all the hub-bub she makes, I figured it'd be too much for her...
But she proved me wrong....
And for that I must give her props....I'm impressed.....at least a bit...
Doesn't change the things she's said or how she's acted......
But it's a step and I applaud her for taking that step, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem...
I wonder what she's thinking now...is that scenario running through her mind like it's running through mine?
On a side note: thanks to all the sophomore girls who stole our shower curtains...you are all so kind...
Anyways...what was I talking about?
Oh yeah...
I wonder if that whole experience is haunting her...I mean...for a second, if you were someone listening in on our conversation, you would've thought we were old friends, joking about the silly little moments in choir...but in all honesty, I don't think we've ever had a conversation since I met her. It was just so...Twilight Zone-ish...
Ach...now this is going to be all I can think about...
On another sidenote: I really need to work on my shield speech...hmm...got to email that to Annie real quick...
Ach...I really want to shower right now. But then again, I don't...because then my hair color would start to fade...but then I really want to take one...it'd help me relax before bed and a very, very busy day tomorrow...ach...what to do...
I need a swimsuit...then I could take one...but nooooooo, my swimsuit is back at home...
*facepalm*
Ach....
Well....I think that's it for my mumblings for now...my mind just can't seem to wrap itself around anything else right now...
.....though my stomach is growling rather incessantly....not quite sure why...I did eat quite a lot today...hmm.....
...........Strange......
Anyways....time for food, I guess....hmm....
Well...sort of...
It's important to at least at one of the people...
Meaning put aside...that was interesting...
Unexpected...
But interesting...
I honestly expected her to run...switch places quickly with someone else to put that "safe" space between us...
Or if she stayed, I expected her to ignore me, pretend I was invisible...
But no...
She took that step...made a comment...and I responded...just to see what she'd do...
She answered...in a joking manner even...
..........I wonder what ran through her head at that moment.....what emotion bubbled up inside her.....she's a better actress than I though...
I don't mean that to sound harsh.......
I just.........with all the hub-bub she makes, I figured it'd be too much for her...
But she proved me wrong....
And for that I must give her props....I'm impressed.....at least a bit...
Doesn't change the things she's said or how she's acted......
But it's a step and I applaud her for taking that step, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem...
I wonder what she's thinking now...is that scenario running through her mind like it's running through mine?
On a side note: thanks to all the sophomore girls who stole our shower curtains...you are all so kind...
Anyways...what was I talking about?
Oh yeah...
I wonder if that whole experience is haunting her...I mean...for a second, if you were someone listening in on our conversation, you would've thought we were old friends, joking about the silly little moments in choir...but in all honesty, I don't think we've ever had a conversation since I met her. It was just so...Twilight Zone-ish...
Ach...now this is going to be all I can think about...
On another sidenote: I really need to work on my shield speech...hmm...got to email that to Annie real quick...
Ach...I really want to shower right now. But then again, I don't...because then my hair color would start to fade...but then I really want to take one...it'd help me relax before bed and a very, very busy day tomorrow...ach...what to do...
I need a swimsuit...then I could take one...but nooooooo, my swimsuit is back at home...
*facepalm*
Ach....
Well....I think that's it for my mumblings for now...my mind just can't seem to wrap itself around anything else right now...
.....though my stomach is growling rather incessantly....not quite sure why...I did eat quite a lot today...hmm.....
...........Strange......
Anyways....time for food, I guess....hmm....
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Like Strawberry Shortcake...but you can call me Cherry Pie
Sooooo....the brownie baking time quickly became...
Let's-dye-Chrissi's-hair-then-bake-cookies-while-dancing-around-the-kitchen-to-Disney-songs time...
*grins*
yup...that just happened...hehe
But I am okay with that...
Yeah I've been going nonstop since 7 o'clock this morning but it's been a good day...
Got to spend some time in the prescence of my Abba...went shopping for food and saw my 6th grade teacher who still managed to make an impression on me after all these years...then had a delicious dinner with my family...then made brownies...dyed my hair red *grins* (it looks awesome)...and am now in the process of making cookies to take back to my dorm girls...
All the while listening to Disney songs and randomly dancing and jumping around my kitchen...*sigh*....it's good to be home...
But I can't wait to get back to my new home...
I miss all the girls...the loudness (sort of, anyway hehe)...the general atmosphere of acceptance and fun...the freedom...the random yelling...
Ahh dorm life *grins*
But tomorrow, I'll be headed back...it feels like it's been ages...but it's really been less than 48 hours...
Strange...
*sigh*
Ahh well...it is what it is...
Man, these cookies are good!!! Peanut butter pudding cookies with chocolate chips...it's like a Reese's cup in cookie form...and supremely soft as well...perfection, if I do say so myself...which I just did...hehe
I wonder how many will actually make it back to school...hehe...these are so good...I'm going to make myself sick...
Must
Resist
Cookies!!!!
Mhm....delicious!!!!!
...Is it bad that I just realized how late it was? I honestly didn't realize it was even past 8 o'clock...let alone almost 11...
Wow...my mind has wandered...
I'm again admiring the effects of Kool-Aid on my hair...while the top of my hair is still fairly dark, the tips are quite red...one stripe, when wet, looks almost hot pink...it's amazing *grins stupidly*...I love it...
I wonder how long it will last this time...hmm...hopefully a couple weeks...I love this color...i wonder what I'd look like if my whole head was the lightest color...hmm...may have to try that someday...
"G...G A S T....G A S T O...oh....GASTON!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Yup...been listening to Disney songs for way too long for one day...*grins*...but I am okay with that..hehe...
Alright....falling asleep while I'm typing...I take that as a sign to go to bed...goodnight, world!
See you bright and early in the morning......
Let's-dye-Chrissi's-hair-then-bake-cookies-while-dancing-around-the-kitchen-to-Disney-songs time...
*grins*
yup...that just happened...hehe
But I am okay with that...
Yeah I've been going nonstop since 7 o'clock this morning but it's been a good day...
Got to spend some time in the prescence of my Abba...went shopping for food and saw my 6th grade teacher who still managed to make an impression on me after all these years...then had a delicious dinner with my family...then made brownies...dyed my hair red *grins* (it looks awesome)...and am now in the process of making cookies to take back to my dorm girls...
All the while listening to Disney songs and randomly dancing and jumping around my kitchen...*sigh*....it's good to be home...
But I can't wait to get back to my new home...
I miss all the girls...the loudness (sort of, anyway hehe)...the general atmosphere of acceptance and fun...the freedom...the random yelling...
Ahh dorm life *grins*
But tomorrow, I'll be headed back...it feels like it's been ages...but it's really been less than 48 hours...
Strange...
*sigh*
Ahh well...it is what it is...
Man, these cookies are good!!! Peanut butter pudding cookies with chocolate chips...it's like a Reese's cup in cookie form...and supremely soft as well...perfection, if I do say so myself...which I just did...hehe
I wonder how many will actually make it back to school...hehe...these are so good...I'm going to make myself sick...
Must
Resist
Cookies!!!!
Mhm....delicious!!!!!
...Is it bad that I just realized how late it was? I honestly didn't realize it was even past 8 o'clock...let alone almost 11...
Wow...my mind has wandered...
I'm again admiring the effects of Kool-Aid on my hair...while the top of my hair is still fairly dark, the tips are quite red...one stripe, when wet, looks almost hot pink...it's amazing *grins stupidly*...I love it...
I wonder how long it will last this time...hmm...hopefully a couple weeks...I love this color...i wonder what I'd look like if my whole head was the lightest color...hmm...may have to try that someday...
"G...G A S T....G A S T O...oh....GASTON!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Yup...been listening to Disney songs for way too long for one day...*grins*...but I am okay with that..hehe...
Alright....falling asleep while I'm typing...I take that as a sign to go to bed...goodnight, world!
See you bright and early in the morning......
It's Days Like These That Make Me Truly Happy...
Today's been pretty good :-)
Got up this morning and the weather was b-e-a-utiful!!!! Wow, Abba...thank you...it was gorgeous
Went to Calvary and saw almost everyone...my gingerbestfriend was a no-go :-( but then I got to go to Fairlawn and see everyone there too! Today's service...I don't know...God hit me with a spiritual 2 x 4 or something...couldn't stop crying...and then the band played this one song..."I am absolutely in love with You..."...started crying harder...but that time it was tears of joy and thanks...
By the way, thank you...to my friend for praying with me, to the lady next to me at the alter for praying over me, and to the girl who sat next to me who I am slowly getting to know better...thanks to you especially...for holding my hand and telling me it's gonna be okay...I really needed to hear that...God shone through you today...again, I can't say thank you enough...
Wow...Abba, You sure have been busy with me today...and I mean that in the best possible way...You've been reminding me of a lot of things...
Like having me run into my 6th grade teacher, Mrs. McConnell and my brother's 6th grade teacher, Mrs. Pelton (who is the wife of my 9th grade computer teacher) while in at Sam's Club. Mrs. McConnell asked if I was doing well and I told her about college. She asked what my major was and I told her English Education. Then she just smiled and said, "You've always been a writer. I knew you were going to go far." This is when my mother jumped in to brag about my achievements with TeenInk, (which I still can't believe I'm VIP now!!!!) but the whole time, I was standing there in a daze. My old teacher's words filled me with a sense of awe and disbelief...I don't remember writing much when I was in 6th grade...she knew I was going to go far? How? Once she heard my (unbelievable) TeenInk experience, she gave me a hug and said she was proud of me and that she was glad she'd be right about me. That just kinda took my breath away...
Here I was thinking she wouldn't even remember me (I mean, it has been seven years...) but not only did she remember me...she was proud of my accomplishments and had faith in me all these years...
....mind blown....
As we parted ways, she told me to keep in touch and I promised I'd drop in for a visit sometime...I really did love her...probably one of my all-time favorite teachers...I look forward to seeing her again...
Mom and I had some grand adventures today :-)
I couldn't believe it...if I pointed out something I craved or thought I needed for school, it was promptly plopped in the cart and paid for.
I was rather spoiled today...without a doubt...
And am now set for like a month when it comes to food :-)
I love my mom...
I truly do...
Sure, we have rough patches....and our relationship isn't always the best...and yes, she's kinda crazy...but I love her...
....Pause....
....it's brownie baking time :-)
Got up this morning and the weather was b-e-a-utiful!!!! Wow, Abba...thank you...it was gorgeous
Went to Calvary and saw almost everyone...my gingerbestfriend was a no-go :-( but then I got to go to Fairlawn and see everyone there too! Today's service...I don't know...God hit me with a spiritual 2 x 4 or something...couldn't stop crying...and then the band played this one song..."I am absolutely in love with You..."...started crying harder...but that time it was tears of joy and thanks...
By the way, thank you...to my friend for praying with me, to the lady next to me at the alter for praying over me, and to the girl who sat next to me who I am slowly getting to know better...thanks to you especially...for holding my hand and telling me it's gonna be okay...I really needed to hear that...God shone through you today...again, I can't say thank you enough...
Wow...Abba, You sure have been busy with me today...and I mean that in the best possible way...You've been reminding me of a lot of things...
Like having me run into my 6th grade teacher, Mrs. McConnell and my brother's 6th grade teacher, Mrs. Pelton (who is the wife of my 9th grade computer teacher) while in at Sam's Club. Mrs. McConnell asked if I was doing well and I told her about college. She asked what my major was and I told her English Education. Then she just smiled and said, "You've always been a writer. I knew you were going to go far." This is when my mother jumped in to brag about my achievements with TeenInk, (which I still can't believe I'm VIP now!!!!) but the whole time, I was standing there in a daze. My old teacher's words filled me with a sense of awe and disbelief...I don't remember writing much when I was in 6th grade...she knew I was going to go far? How? Once she heard my (unbelievable) TeenInk experience, she gave me a hug and said she was proud of me and that she was glad she'd be right about me. That just kinda took my breath away...
Here I was thinking she wouldn't even remember me (I mean, it has been seven years...) but not only did she remember me...she was proud of my accomplishments and had faith in me all these years...
....mind blown....
As we parted ways, she told me to keep in touch and I promised I'd drop in for a visit sometime...I really did love her...probably one of my all-time favorite teachers...I look forward to seeing her again...
Mom and I had some grand adventures today :-)
I couldn't believe it...if I pointed out something I craved or thought I needed for school, it was promptly plopped in the cart and paid for.
I was rather spoiled today...without a doubt...
And am now set for like a month when it comes to food :-)
I love my mom...
I truly do...
Sure, we have rough patches....and our relationship isn't always the best...and yes, she's kinda crazy...but I love her...
....Pause....
....it's brownie baking time :-)
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