This science class is going to kill me...
What an awful way to die!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Music needs no explanation
I am thoroughly enjoying my Straight No Chaser playlist on Pandora...
It's introduced me to all sorts of new a capella groups that are just...mindblowing...
There's Committed:
And then there's The Backbeats who are just amazing...and the one girl who does the backbeats just...whoa...
They can sound like that....or this....
And then there's On The Rocks, a gigantic all guys group ...
And that's just a few of the groups....
It's...just absolutely mindblowing....
....I think I found my official favorite style of music...
singing like that...without any help except the person singing with you...
That's true talent...
It's introduced me to all sorts of new a capella groups that are just...mindblowing...
There's Committed:
And then there's The Backbeats who are just amazing...and the one girl who does the backbeats just...whoa...
They can sound like that....or this....
And then there's On The Rocks, a gigantic all guys group ...
And that's just a few of the groups....
It's...just absolutely mindblowing....
....I think I found my official favorite style of music...
singing like that...without any help except the person singing with you...
That's true talent...
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Perfection...
Straight No Chaser and Jack Johnson playing on my radio...
The sun is shining; the 70 degree weather is beautiful...
A peaceful feeling in my heart...
And the ability to just sit and relax...
*sigh*
Ahh...perfection...
The sun is shining; the 70 degree weather is beautiful...
A peaceful feeling in my heart...
And the ability to just sit and relax...
*sigh*
Ahh...perfection...
Hope is the thing with feathers...and D'Artagnan is the one with mad sword skils
That was the most interesting and unexpected walk I have ever been on...
Sure, it started out awkward...
"So what do you think of this weather?"
Thank you...for just talking...
In some odd way, that felt more like two friends reconnecting after not seeing each other in years than his ex and his current girl trying to bridge that horrid gap between them...
In all honesty, I set out to let you have it, to rip into about how your assumptions and preceptions of me are hurtful and untrue and how you need to stop telling others how awful he and I are...
But instead...we just...talked...about lots of things...
It was entertaining to see how much we have in common...rather strange in a way as well...I've never known anyone else to get as distracted as I do when walking through the trails...or to enjoy puns like I do...hmm...
That's what You wanted, wasn't it, Abba? You wanted the two of us to see what we had in common, to not let the past get in the way of what we thought of each other.
Well, from my point of view, it worked.
And whatever magic You worked over us on our walk continued during the choir concert...it was rather fun when we were able to joke back and forth...I enjoyed the surprised looks on a couple peoples' faces as well...haha...
Didn't expect that, did you?
I hope this lasts...and honestly, I think I may ask her to go on a walk with me again...another thing we had in common was liking to take long walks and just see where our feet would take us...but not having many people who had the time or patience to do so with us...and neither of us really wanted to go alone...plus...we could get to know each better...
I think that's been the problem all along...we don't really know each other...and in all honesty, I would like to remedy that situation...
Random add in: something else I'd like to remedy...learning swordplay...it's so fascinating and daring...I've always wanted to learn...even though there's not much place for it in these times...still...so awesome!!! I guess this was brought on by seeing the 3 Musketeers with everyone last night...watching D'Artagnan totally pwn the soldiers was just epic...wish I could be like that...but no...hmm...
Anyway....
Back to the walk and talk...
I was worried about bringing up the original topic before we got back...but I just felt this peace, like I didn't need to worry about it...and yes, I have checked what you said about it...and it's already looking up...
*sigh of relief*
Does this mean my rollercoaster is going uphill now, Abba? Or do I need to pull a D'Artagnan and fight off 40 soldiers after getting shot in the arm...?
It's looking like an uphill kind of day...
Mhm...
Sure, it started out awkward...
"So what do you think of this weather?"
Thank you...for just talking...
In some odd way, that felt more like two friends reconnecting after not seeing each other in years than his ex and his current girl trying to bridge that horrid gap between them...
In all honesty, I set out to let you have it, to rip into about how your assumptions and preceptions of me are hurtful and untrue and how you need to stop telling others how awful he and I are...
But instead...we just...talked...about lots of things...
It was entertaining to see how much we have in common...rather strange in a way as well...I've never known anyone else to get as distracted as I do when walking through the trails...or to enjoy puns like I do...hmm...
That's what You wanted, wasn't it, Abba? You wanted the two of us to see what we had in common, to not let the past get in the way of what we thought of each other.
Well, from my point of view, it worked.
And whatever magic You worked over us on our walk continued during the choir concert...it was rather fun when we were able to joke back and forth...I enjoyed the surprised looks on a couple peoples' faces as well...haha...
Didn't expect that, did you?
I hope this lasts...and honestly, I think I may ask her to go on a walk with me again...another thing we had in common was liking to take long walks and just see where our feet would take us...but not having many people who had the time or patience to do so with us...and neither of us really wanted to go alone...plus...we could get to know each better...
I think that's been the problem all along...we don't really know each other...and in all honesty, I would like to remedy that situation...
Random add in: something else I'd like to remedy...learning swordplay...it's so fascinating and daring...I've always wanted to learn...even though there's not much place for it in these times...still...so awesome!!! I guess this was brought on by seeing the 3 Musketeers with everyone last night...watching D'Artagnan totally pwn the soldiers was just epic...wish I could be like that...but no...hmm...
Anyway....
Back to the walk and talk...
I was worried about bringing up the original topic before we got back...but I just felt this peace, like I didn't need to worry about it...and yes, I have checked what you said about it...and it's already looking up...
*sigh of relief*
Does this mean my rollercoaster is going uphill now, Abba? Or do I need to pull a D'Artagnan and fight off 40 soldiers after getting shot in the arm...?
It's looking like an uphill kind of day...
Mhm...
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Where do I go from here...?
Today's the day...
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I don't want to do this...at this point, I don't even remember why I'm doing this...
Oh yeah...because she needs to know that her assumptions hurt and that if she would just ask, then she'd see that I'm not the monster she makes me out to be. In fact, scarily enough, we have a lot in common.
Is it irrational of me to think of this walk as two friends going out and discussing something that's come between them in a mature matter?
Of course it is...we're not friends...she can't even the stand the sight of me...nor I her...too many memories...but I have come to realize (at like 3 this morning) that it isn't the memories that hurt anymore...it isn't the fact that he was ever with her...it's the fact that she is saying all this about me because I'm with him now...
And that, my non-friend, is stupid...just flat out stupid. You don't judge someone by who they date, especially given our...unique...circumstances...
I. don't. want. to. do. this.
No.
Don't make me!
Ach...I guess since I'm the one who opened her big mouth and said we needed to talk, it's my fault...
I should really just place duct tape over my mouth whenever she's in the vicinity...
11:11!!!!!!
*closes eyes tight and wishes with all her might*
Oh Abba, please give me the strength to do this...and the peace to survive it...
2 hours and 18 minutes and counting...
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I don't want to do this...at this point, I don't even remember why I'm doing this...
Oh yeah...because she needs to know that her assumptions hurt and that if she would just ask, then she'd see that I'm not the monster she makes me out to be. In fact, scarily enough, we have a lot in common.
Is it irrational of me to think of this walk as two friends going out and discussing something that's come between them in a mature matter?
Of course it is...we're not friends...she can't even the stand the sight of me...nor I her...too many memories...but I have come to realize (at like 3 this morning) that it isn't the memories that hurt anymore...it isn't the fact that he was ever with her...it's the fact that she is saying all this about me because I'm with him now...
And that, my non-friend, is stupid...just flat out stupid. You don't judge someone by who they date, especially given our...unique...circumstances...
I. don't. want. to. do. this.
No.
Don't make me!
Ach...I guess since I'm the one who opened her big mouth and said we needed to talk, it's my fault...
I should really just place duct tape over my mouth whenever she's in the vicinity...
11:11!!!!!!
*closes eyes tight and wishes with all her might*
Oh Abba, please give me the strength to do this...and the peace to survive it...
2 hours and 18 minutes and counting...
Friday, October 21, 2011
It's the end of the world as we know it...but I don't feel fine...
On a sidenote...someone did predict that the world would end today...how ironic is it that it feels like the world as I know it is ending...
Because I told her...I told her we had to talk...
....I fumbled over my words and shook like a sapling in a stormy wind but...I told her...
And now I have to wait until she sends me a message letting me know when she's free...ugh...
I am so not looking forward to this...
But I know it needs to happen...and I do feel a sort of peace knowing that this will be brought out in the open...*sigh*...I just wish it wasn't going to be so messy...
Abba, I'm 99.9% sure that this is what I need to do...if it is, please give me the words to say...if not, please open a hole in the ground to swallow me up...
*looks down*
*doesn't see a hole*
*sighs*
Alright, Abba...I trust You....
Subject change...
Living with almost 30 girls and only having 4 working showers and having to all get ready for the Homecoming banquet tonight...yeah...that's interesting...
Hmm...at least this should distract me...hopefully...
Time to go drown myself in the shower...kinda...in a way...whatever...I'm done now...
Because I told her...I told her we had to talk...
....I fumbled over my words and shook like a sapling in a stormy wind but...I told her...
And now I have to wait until she sends me a message letting me know when she's free...ugh...
I am so not looking forward to this...
But I know it needs to happen...and I do feel a sort of peace knowing that this will be brought out in the open...*sigh*...I just wish it wasn't going to be so messy...
Abba, I'm 99.9% sure that this is what I need to do...if it is, please give me the words to say...if not, please open a hole in the ground to swallow me up...
*looks down*
*doesn't see a hole*
*sighs*
Alright, Abba...I trust You....
Subject change...
Living with almost 30 girls and only having 4 working showers and having to all get ready for the Homecoming banquet tonight...yeah...that's interesting...
Hmm...at least this should distract me...hopefully...
Time to go drown myself in the shower...kinda...in a way...whatever...I'm done now...
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Witness my love, my Love
My love, my love
With eyes like a storm
And hair shining like a raven’s wingMy love, my love
With arms so strong
And a beating heart of pure goldMy love, my love
With courage rareAnd a voice filled with passion
My love, my love
With life so full And such a jewel to behold
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Wild Things, Rawr!
Okay, honesty time...
I am really getting sick of powderpuff.
We've won ONE game and it was the game I didn't play in...any other game we've been trampled in. Our teammates don't communicate, we don't know what we're doing, and most of us are tired of losing so we give up easily.
It's crap.
I thought this was supposed to be for fun...it's anything but...
And then when I hear girls down the hall (I'm not sure who) saying that it was mine and another girl's fault that we lost tonight?
Ahh hell no.
I ran my butt off for you guys, chasing after one of the fastest people on the other team because I've known her since elementary school so I knew what she'd do and then when I was open (which was most of the game), ya'll didn't even look at me to pass to?
Oh yeah, totally my fault.
My bad.
I'll just stand there next time.
Thank goodness, there's only one game left. Technically, there could be more since it's the start of the playoffs but seeing as we've totally sucked so far, I don't see us making it past the first round.
*sigh*
Add to all this the fact that it was like 40 degrees and we were in shorts, leggings, and t-shirts...yeah....COLD!!!!!! Not exactly spirit-lifting...
Bleck...
The only thing that got me through that game was the knowledge that as soon as I was done, I would get to go see my man *grins*
Mhm...I love him...so much...
It's just really hit me this week...I love him...I love him...like...not some stupid little infatuation that fades over time...but a love that will last...
I suppose that's the reason why I've felt so mushy lately...mhm...hope he doesn't mind *giggles*
*sigh*...I really need to get to bed...
I didn't get to bed until after 1 last night...and then I didn't even sleep very well because of my dreams...I have such strange dreams! Last night, a new drama unfolded full of ghosts and creatures with looks that would make the Muppets and Fraggles jealous...for some reason all these things were at war with each other and I was put in the middle of it...ach...odd....
Prehaps tonight, I will have better luck...though for some reason I doubt it...
Anyways...
I bid you adieu...gute Nacht, alle Menschen der Welt..süße Träume...
I am really getting sick of powderpuff.
We've won ONE game and it was the game I didn't play in...any other game we've been trampled in. Our teammates don't communicate, we don't know what we're doing, and most of us are tired of losing so we give up easily.
It's crap.
I thought this was supposed to be for fun...it's anything but...
And then when I hear girls down the hall (I'm not sure who) saying that it was mine and another girl's fault that we lost tonight?
Ahh hell no.
I ran my butt off for you guys, chasing after one of the fastest people on the other team because I've known her since elementary school so I knew what she'd do and then when I was open (which was most of the game), ya'll didn't even look at me to pass to?
Oh yeah, totally my fault.
My bad.
I'll just stand there next time.
Thank goodness, there's only one game left. Technically, there could be more since it's the start of the playoffs but seeing as we've totally sucked so far, I don't see us making it past the first round.
*sigh*
Add to all this the fact that it was like 40 degrees and we were in shorts, leggings, and t-shirts...yeah....COLD!!!!!! Not exactly spirit-lifting...
Bleck...
The only thing that got me through that game was the knowledge that as soon as I was done, I would get to go see my man *grins*
Mhm...I love him...so much...
It's just really hit me this week...I love him...I love him...like...not some stupid little infatuation that fades over time...but a love that will last...
I suppose that's the reason why I've felt so mushy lately...mhm...hope he doesn't mind *giggles*
*sigh*...I really need to get to bed...
I didn't get to bed until after 1 last night...and then I didn't even sleep very well because of my dreams...I have such strange dreams! Last night, a new drama unfolded full of ghosts and creatures with looks that would make the Muppets and Fraggles jealous...for some reason all these things were at war with each other and I was put in the middle of it...ach...odd....
Prehaps tonight, I will have better luck...though for some reason I doubt it...
Anyways...
I bid you adieu...gute Nacht, alle Menschen der Welt..süße Träume...
Hear Fall's tread, the crunching of scarlet leaves...
Walking outside at 8 o'clock this morning to head to class and glancing at the weather update on my phone to see it say 34 degrees...was shocking...
....brrrrrr....
While I was already bundled up in my peacoat and gloves, it wasn't quite enough...
I suppose a good scraf and maybe a hat would've been best to add to the ensemble but... *shrugs* i don't have either...well...I don't have a scarf...i have a hat...somewhere...hmm...must look for that...
Anyways...
Today was a good day...been rather busy...and am off to my powderpuff game and then to my man's to finish watching Fireproof...
I will speak with you later....
....brrrrrr....
While I was already bundled up in my peacoat and gloves, it wasn't quite enough...
I suppose a good scraf and maybe a hat would've been best to add to the ensemble but... *shrugs* i don't have either...well...I don't have a scarf...i have a hat...somewhere...hmm...must look for that...
Anyways...
Today was a good day...been rather busy...and am off to my powderpuff game and then to my man's to finish watching Fireproof...
I will speak with you later....
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
My pen is my sword...
How many stories can I write in a week's time?
So far, I'm up to three...plus an old one that I'm rewriting...and just started a new one today...
Hmm...
I'm quite enjoying this little writing spree...it's been fantastic!
One of these days, I'm going to finish my Mein Engel novel and send it in...Kara will kill me if I don't...haha...but I will finish it...and hopefully, find some way to send it in...
I want to send in my shorts too...do some sort of comp with all of the better ones like One More Round, Nightmare, Another Nightmare, Betrayal...
I'll want to add The Shadow Man and Two Colors once they're finished...oh, and Amazing Harmony too.
*sigh*
So many stories to tell...
So far, I'm up to three...plus an old one that I'm rewriting...and just started a new one today...
Hmm...
I'm quite enjoying this little writing spree...it's been fantastic!
One of these days, I'm going to finish my Mein Engel novel and send it in...Kara will kill me if I don't...haha...but I will finish it...and hopefully, find some way to send it in...
I want to send in my shorts too...do some sort of comp with all of the better ones like One More Round, Nightmare, Another Nightmare, Betrayal...
I'll want to add The Shadow Man and Two Colors once they're finished...oh, and Amazing Harmony too.
*sigh*
So many stories to tell...
There is a castle on a cloud...
Ahh, I love college...
Especially when you go to your least favorite class and then your professor comes in and says the class is canceled because he has a cold and wouldn't be able to speak for the whole class...
Glorious!
Heading back to my room, I remembered my roommate would still be sleeping...so I snuck in and grabbed my laptop and am now cozied up in the lobby, wasting time until chapel.
It's gray and chilly days like this that make me long for a fireplace...ahhh....
One day, in a house of my own...I hope there will be a room with a fireplace...I'll line the walls with shelves for my books and will place a rocking chair by the fire for those cold nights when I want to lose myself in another world...
Ahh...perfection...
Especially when you go to your least favorite class and then your professor comes in and says the class is canceled because he has a cold and wouldn't be able to speak for the whole class...
Glorious!
Heading back to my room, I remembered my roommate would still be sleeping...so I snuck in and grabbed my laptop and am now cozied up in the lobby, wasting time until chapel.
It's gray and chilly days like this that make me long for a fireplace...ahhh....
One day, in a house of my own...I hope there will be a room with a fireplace...I'll line the walls with shelves for my books and will place a rocking chair by the fire for those cold nights when I want to lose myself in another world...
Ahh...perfection...
Monday, October 17, 2011
Blow, blow, thou winter wind...
...this weather is so dreary...
just makes me want to crawl back to bed with a good book and curl up under my pile of blankets...
*sigh*
this weekend ended up being pretty awesome...yeah I got sick Friday but I recovered quickly and sure, there was a crapload of drama that I did NOT need...but hey, I got to see people I haven't seen in weeks who I've missed a lot...and had some great time with my man too *smiles* Mhm...a good weekend overall....
...and now I'm back at school...where I love the freedom but hate the fact that I don't seem to have enough time to enjoy all that I want to...hmm...
And now to hopefully retrieve my costume for the choir concert, provided the costume lady is actually there now...I hate doing things last minute...bleck...
just makes me want to crawl back to bed with a good book and curl up under my pile of blankets...
*sigh*
this weekend ended up being pretty awesome...yeah I got sick Friday but I recovered quickly and sure, there was a crapload of drama that I did NOT need...but hey, I got to see people I haven't seen in weeks who I've missed a lot...and had some great time with my man too *smiles* Mhm...a good weekend overall....
...and now I'm back at school...where I love the freedom but hate the fact that I don't seem to have enough time to enjoy all that I want to...hmm...
And now to hopefully retrieve my costume for the choir concert, provided the costume lady is actually there now...I hate doing things last minute...bleck...
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Now I'm the girl on fire...
Either I've suddenly become terrified of fires...or my dreams now are taking on an extremely symbolic trait...
Last night was the third night in the past week that I've had that dream...
It starts out so beautiful...just me and him lying on blanket in the middle of a meadow surrounded by a gorgeous forest...it's peaceful and beautiful and I never want to leave...
And then suddenly, he's gone and the forest around me erupts into fiercely hot flames...and I can't escape...there's no where to turn...I'm calling his name, I'm calling for help, but nothing happens except that the flames find they love the taste of my skin...
I wake crying and choking on my screams...
Last night, it was the same dream...
Except this time I knew what was going to happen and I tried to tell him but he brushed me off, saying we were safe and that he'd never leave me...
And then, again, he was gone...the tears started flowing but this time I didn't try to run...I just stood there and let the fire dance up my arms...the last thought that ran through my head was that I'd rather feel this burning pain than the sinking hole his leaving had put in my heart...
Abba, what do these dreams mean, if they even mean anything? Why do I keep having them? Even when my eyes are open, the images are still burned (no pun intended) into my brain...
.....I just want it to stop.....
Last night was the third night in the past week that I've had that dream...
It starts out so beautiful...just me and him lying on blanket in the middle of a meadow surrounded by a gorgeous forest...it's peaceful and beautiful and I never want to leave...
And then suddenly, he's gone and the forest around me erupts into fiercely hot flames...and I can't escape...there's no where to turn...I'm calling his name, I'm calling for help, but nothing happens except that the flames find they love the taste of my skin...
I wake crying and choking on my screams...
Last night, it was the same dream...
Except this time I knew what was going to happen and I tried to tell him but he brushed me off, saying we were safe and that he'd never leave me...
And then, again, he was gone...the tears started flowing but this time I didn't try to run...I just stood there and let the fire dance up my arms...the last thought that ran through my head was that I'd rather feel this burning pain than the sinking hole his leaving had put in my heart...
Abba, what do these dreams mean, if they even mean anything? Why do I keep having them? Even when my eyes are open, the images are still burned (no pun intended) into my brain...
.....I just want it to stop.....
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Can I be your Nemo?
I feel like I've been hit in the gut...
Except I'm the one who threw the punch...
That was stupid...why did I do that?
I knew you were joking but I dunno, I guess I wanted to see what you would do...
So I gathered my things and left, just like you said to...
...you didn't follow me...
I walked slowly to give you time to catch up...when I opened the outside door to leave, I expected to hear you say "Don't go!"...once outside, I waited to see if you'd follow or at least look out your window...
...you didn't...
........................that hurt...........................
So I unlocked my bike and pedaled home...the tears started once I got back to my dorm...
Not even a text message asking me where I'd gone...
I guess, in a way, I was testing you...to see if you cared enough to follow me, even if it turned out I was joking...
As a test, you failed...
I think what hurts the most is that I expected you to come after me...it just seemed like something you'd do...but I guess not...
When I did hear from you, it was on Facebook...and it didn't help really at all...every time I asked what YOU wanted, you evaded the question, turning it back to me, wanting to know what I wanted to do...I told you and asked again and you replied, saying that actually you need to head to bed soon...
...add salt to the wound...
We said goodnight...you first, then I...but you never said those three words I was waiting to hear...and promptly got off after I said goodnight, so I couldn't even tell you the words myself...
So here I am, crying, wanting to go to bed and escape into my nightmares but knowing I won't be able to sleep because I'll be kept up, stewing over this stupid thing because it isn't resolved...
...*heavy sigh*....
My mind is agruing with me...one side says it's my fault and I'm a terrible person for doing that...but the other says that it doesn't matter, you should have followed anyway, even if it was just to let me back inside the building...
.........I hate this..........
Abba, help me...I need comfort and understanding and Your heavenly peace...please...
Please...
Since I know you'll read this eventually...the whole thing was stupid and I'd take it back in an instant...but I really did just want to know if you'd follow me...
I love you, with everything I have, and nothing is going to EVER change that...if it hasn't changed after all this time and all that we've been through, then this stupid thing isn't going to change that either....
I guess I just want to hear you say it's okay and nothing to worry about, just a big misunderstanding...
..................*sigh*.............................
That's it....
I'm going to bed now...prehaps, for once, I'll find comfort in my nightmares...doubt it...I'll wake screaming again...
Except I'm the one who threw the punch...
That was stupid...why did I do that?
I knew you were joking but I dunno, I guess I wanted to see what you would do...
So I gathered my things and left, just like you said to...
...you didn't follow me...
I walked slowly to give you time to catch up...when I opened the outside door to leave, I expected to hear you say "Don't go!"...once outside, I waited to see if you'd follow or at least look out your window...
...you didn't...
........................that hurt...........................
So I unlocked my bike and pedaled home...the tears started once I got back to my dorm...
Not even a text message asking me where I'd gone...
I guess, in a way, I was testing you...to see if you cared enough to follow me, even if it turned out I was joking...
As a test, you failed...
I think what hurts the most is that I expected you to come after me...it just seemed like something you'd do...but I guess not...
When I did hear from you, it was on Facebook...and it didn't help really at all...every time I asked what YOU wanted, you evaded the question, turning it back to me, wanting to know what I wanted to do...I told you and asked again and you replied, saying that actually you need to head to bed soon...
...add salt to the wound...
We said goodnight...you first, then I...but you never said those three words I was waiting to hear...and promptly got off after I said goodnight, so I couldn't even tell you the words myself...
So here I am, crying, wanting to go to bed and escape into my nightmares but knowing I won't be able to sleep because I'll be kept up, stewing over this stupid thing because it isn't resolved...
...*heavy sigh*....
My mind is agruing with me...one side says it's my fault and I'm a terrible person for doing that...but the other says that it doesn't matter, you should have followed anyway, even if it was just to let me back inside the building...
.........I hate this..........
Abba, help me...I need comfort and understanding and Your heavenly peace...please...
Please...
Since I know you'll read this eventually...the whole thing was stupid and I'd take it back in an instant...but I really did just want to know if you'd follow me...
I love you, with everything I have, and nothing is going to EVER change that...if it hasn't changed after all this time and all that we've been through, then this stupid thing isn't going to change that either....
I guess I just want to hear you say it's okay and nothing to worry about, just a big misunderstanding...
..................*sigh*.............................
That's it....
I'm going to bed now...prehaps, for once, I'll find comfort in my nightmares...doubt it...I'll wake screaming again...
Monday, October 10, 2011
Music is always playing in my head...
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la lala lalalalalalalalalala...
Yup...that's right...I'm singing on here...haha...
All day today, random bits of VERY random songs have been popping in and out of my head...
First, it was P!ATD's "This is Halloween"...
...then "Day after day, all the prince ever does is practice, practice, practice!"
......and then "I got CHILLS! They're multiplyin'! And I'm losing control cuz the power you're supplyin'...it's ELECTRIFYIN'!!!!!!"
yup...just random songs...
though I guess they're all from movies...so maybe not so random...hmm...oh well...
I'm glad I have a soundtrack playing in my head...it's comforting...and the songs usually have something to do with what's going on in my life...though I'm not sure what the three I've mentioned do...hmm...*shrugs*
....................................................*sigh*...........................................................
I know I'm not a very patient person but...SNAIL MAIL SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!! I know I just mailed that letter yesterday...and it's only Monday....but UGH!!!!!! I want an answer and I want it now!!!! *grimaces*
This letter is going to change my life...and my mom's life...and my siblings' lives...and his life...
Him...Joshua...
*sigh*
I haven't even met him but I already love him...
He is my brother after all...half-brother, really...but who cares?
Ach...I've been dying to meet him or even just contact him for almost 8 years...and finally...
FINALLY!!!!
Finally, I can...
Now I just have to wait for him to get the letter...and reply?
*sigh*
What if he doesn't reply?
What if he hates me?
What if? What if?
What and if are two of the world's most innocent words...until they're put next to each other...and then they have the power to ruin everything...
*sigh*
I hope he at least replies...just to know that he IS actually there...and knows who I am...that's really all I can ask for...ach...
Yup...that's right...I'm singing on here...haha...
All day today, random bits of VERY random songs have been popping in and out of my head...
First, it was P!ATD's "This is Halloween"...
...then "Day after day, all the prince ever does is practice, practice, practice!"
......and then "I got CHILLS! They're multiplyin'! And I'm losing control cuz the power you're supplyin'...it's ELECTRIFYIN'!!!!!!"
yup...just random songs...
though I guess they're all from movies...so maybe not so random...hmm...oh well...
I'm glad I have a soundtrack playing in my head...it's comforting...and the songs usually have something to do with what's going on in my life...though I'm not sure what the three I've mentioned do...hmm...*shrugs*
....................................................*sigh*...........................................................
I know I'm not a very patient person but...SNAIL MAIL SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!! I know I just mailed that letter yesterday...and it's only Monday....but UGH!!!!!! I want an answer and I want it now!!!! *grimaces*
This letter is going to change my life...and my mom's life...and my siblings' lives...and his life...
Him...Joshua...
*sigh*
I haven't even met him but I already love him...
He is my brother after all...half-brother, really...but who cares?
Ach...I've been dying to meet him or even just contact him for almost 8 years...and finally...
FINALLY!!!!
Finally, I can...
Now I just have to wait for him to get the letter...and reply?
*sigh*
What if he doesn't reply?
What if he hates me?
What if? What if?
What and if are two of the world's most innocent words...until they're put next to each other...and then they have the power to ruin everything...
*sigh*
I hope he at least replies...just to know that he IS actually there...and knows who I am...that's really all I can ask for...ach...
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)