Where do I go from here...?

Today's the day...



UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH



I don't want to do this...at this point, I don't even remember why I'm doing this...



Oh yeah...because she needs to know that her assumptions hurt and that if she would just ask, then she'd see that I'm not the monster she makes me out to be. In fact, scarily enough, we have a lot in common.



Is it irrational of me to think of this walk as two friends going out and discussing something that's come between them in a mature matter?


Of course it is...we're not friends...she can't even the stand the sight of me...nor I her...too many memories...but I have come to realize (at like 3 this morning) that it isn't the memories that hurt anymore...it isn't the fact that he was ever with her...it's the fact that she is saying all this about me because I'm with him now...


And that, my non-friend, is stupid...just flat out stupid. You don't judge someone by who they date, especially given our...unique...circumstances...



I. don't. want. to. do. this.


No.


Don't make me!


Ach...I guess since I'm the one who opened her big mouth and said we needed to talk, it's my fault...



I should really just place duct tape over my mouth whenever she's in the vicinity...


11:11!!!!!!


*closes eyes tight and wishes with all her might*



Oh Abba, please give me the strength to do this...and the peace to survive it...


2 hours and 18 minutes and counting...