Keep the Dream Alive. Dreaming is Still How the Strong Survive

You see, this is why I really shouldn't write at night. My last few posts? Negative or whiny. Because the past couple days have been super long and by the end of it, I'm exhausted and frustrated and in a mood to rant. While that's okay and honestly what this blog is for, to get my thoughts and feelings out of my head and into words, it's not always a good thing.


Like the past couple nights.


This is hell week for me. One of three in the 5 weeks I have left of school. I don't have much homework to do, but it doesn't matter. I wouldn't have time to do it even if I did. I have almost no free time until this weekend...and even then I'm going home so I can work my alloted shift a month to keep my job for the summer. *sigh* Wanna see what my schedule looks like today?


6:30-10:30: working
11:00-2:50: classes, 4 in total with only roughly ten minutes between each...so that means no lunch.
3:00-4:00: naptime. I need this or I might kill someone. Also, it's my first break all day.
4:30-8:00: more work
9:00-10:30: Kairos (a sort of youth group thing)

Yeah...yay. I have two hour-long breaks. One between class and my second shift and the other between my second shift and Kairos. Trust me, if I wasn't so desparate for chapel points, I wouldn't bother with Kairos. But whatever.

Anyway, sorry. I didn't mean to start complaining again. I'm just trying to make a point. This week is going to suck.


What I was saying at the beginning of the post is, by the time I get home for the day, I am worn out and frustrated and just want to get it all out. It has to be a fandamntastic day for me to still feel chipper at 11 or midnight or whenever I get to writing this.


I really should write in the morning because I usually have a more positive outlook on life. Not today because I'm dragging...though I did have some sweet dreams last night...


One of them I almost thought was real. In it, I was laying on my bed watching a movie when I heard a knock at my window. I opened it and there was my fiance, all dressed up in one of his suits, holding an umbrella (it was thunderstorming outside) and a bouquet of purple roses (my favorite). Somehow I managed to pop the screen off my window and he clambered into my room. After putting his umbrella down and taking off his shoes and jacket, he climbed into bed with me and held me until I fell asleep in his arms.


It was beautiful...


Until I shot straight up in bed at 2:10 in the morning and I was groggy enough that I was trying to figure out where he went...then I realized it was just a dream...


Yeah...my brain has not been nice to me when it comes to dreams lately. I either get the really uneasy ones, the creepy ones, or the ones that are so beautiful but realistic that when I wake up, it breaks my heart.



So I guess just anyway I look at it, I'm going to be very positive today. I'll try. But right now, I feel like it's a miracle I'm even awake. My eyes hurt...that's how tired I am. And it's not even 7:30 yet. Gross.


Whelp...I'm just going to stop here. Before I go on yet another rant of some sort. Also, I'm technically "open" at work in 10 minutes. Everything's already ready to go (I've been here since 6:30) but I don't really want to be writing on my blog while people are walking around.



Toodles, friends. You might hear from me later...but don't count on it. I plan to crash hardcore once I get home from Kairos. Unless I get the chance to see him. I just...I miss him. A lot.

Anyway...peace out, Girl Scouts.