Today just got a lot harder to handle...

It crept up on me without realizing it.


Today is Brenna's birthday.



Brenna, my beautiful Brenna...taken from us almost a year ago...



She would be 19 years old today. She would be almost finished with her first year at K-State. She would be enjoying her cake (and probably naming it) and making memories with all her friends and family. She would be smiling.



I cannot claim to know what heaven is like. But I like to picture Bren surrounded by flowers and her loved ones that have gone before her. There would be angels too, angels to sing and dance with her. Today she would have the most epic of all cakes and she would share it with everyone else in heaven with her. I can just see her smile now...



God...I'm supposed to be going to bed but now I'm laying here crying and going through her photos on Facebook. Seeing her smile in those pictures breaks my heart...


How I miss her. She was just...wonderful. I'd known her since elementary school. We were never best friends, the kind that stayed the night at each other's houses every weekend or anything like that. But you didn't have to be like that with Bren. She loved everyone. Never did I ever hear her say something mean or harmful about anyone (unless it was her sister...and then it was usually followed by "but I love her anyway"). She had the purest heart ever known to man.


I will never forget her. She will always be in my heart until the day I see her again in heaven. There will be much rejoicing, I garauntee it.



So today, excuse me if I'm snippy or if I start crying suddenly. I'm going to do my best to smile and laugh and enjoy life like Brenna did but I can't garauntee I'll be able to. The pain is still too fresh.



So...happy birthday, Bren. I hope you have the best birthday party ever and I hope your cake is delicious. Sing loud, dance crazy, and stay you. I miss you so much, honeybunches...and I can't wait to see you again.